Archive for March, 2011

The Katalina Blog Challenge #7: Let’s Talk About Sex

Sexy Pinup

Image via Wikimedia Commons

* For more details on the Katalina Blog Challenge, click here and more on this specific challenge, click here

Sex in writing… makes me think of Sheldon in “The Big Bang Theory” when he re-discovers his text adventure games. He said something along the lines of “it uses the most powerful graphics chip ever made: the human imagination.”

That’s how I feel whenever I read a sex scene in writing. Actually it’s like that with all writing, but it’s somehow different with sex scenes. Writing them is also somehow different from writing other R18 scenes, be they murder scenes or scenes with foul language.

Sex isn’t something we should be ashamed of. It’s one of our core functions as human beings. Keep that population up. But it’s more than that. Most swear words out there are based in or around it, Fuck, Dick, Cunt, Motherfucker, Asshole (for some anyway)… you get the idea.

Yet despite this, most people get nervous when speaking about it. Some books that I have read use descriptions of genitalia that actually just show how uncomfortable the writer was with the scene, and this makes the whole thing seem awkward somehow.

Admittedly talking about it makes me blush a bit at times, but I haven’t really ever struggled with talking about it. Sometimes I take things a bit too far… but rather that than feel that it is something to be ashamed of. Please don’t mistake this for being rude or crass about it. I just feel comfortable (mostly) talking about it.

I’ve practiced writing a few sex scenes, during my morning pages, for the 12 weeks of “The Artist’s Way“. Some of them were just downright dirty, dirty enough to go into Playboy or Hustler actually, and others were actually pretty decent. I had a few in my NaNoWriMo novel last year as well. Nothing more than a few pages, but it was a lot of building up to the act.

One thing that I feel pretty strong about is that sex, even more so when writing about it is that it is more than just the act itself. It’s the building up of the tension between the two lovers, the little moments that make you wanna scream out “Fuck me now!”, the teasing, the… you get the point. If all you’re gonna do is describe the actual scene, you’ve got it all wrong and shouldn’t even bother. You have to get inside their heads. The reader needs to be the character and feel what they are feeling for it to be an effective scene.

I can’t recall which book it was, but about a hundred pages in, the author had written three sex scenes that just described the room and talked about penetrating rods and such nonsense, without actually making it seem erotic at all. It’s like the partner that just lies there, it just doesn’t work.

In my epic novel series, mentioned in the previous Katalina Challenge, I intend to have some pretty mindblowing sex scenes; to go along with the massacres of humans, zombies, aliens, cyborgs and many other strange and wonderful scenes. Until then, practice makes perfect :)

If you aren’t sure how to proceed with a  sex scene, Google it, Google is your friend. There are plenty of guides out there.


RAGE!!

Road Rage

Image courtesy of Flickr

As I get older, I feel my dark side surfacing more and more. And I’ve figured out the reason. For the last year or two, I have become very impatient on the road with bad drivers and with general stupidity. Other than that I’m pretty chilled. I don’t get upset with bad service too much, I don’t snap at my friends. As long as you’re not a stupid idiot or driving crap nearby to me, you’re pretty safe.

That said, my definition of bad driving is very broad. As is my definition of idiots. So most days, getting to work and back involves at least three sessions of severe profanity or steering wheel bashing. The problem is that I got my license as soon as I turned 18, started working in a job that involved driving for most of my 12 hour shifts (for five years or so) and did defensive driving and advanced driving courses. I’ll admit that I may not follow speed limits, and may not always indicate (normally when it is obvious where I am going or there is no-one around that needs to know where I am going), but even though I may be a very aggressive driver, I am not a bad driver.

Some things that piss me off include: driving slowly, not observing what is going on, tailgating, not knowing how to use a traffic circle. I could go on all day, but you get the idea.

Then we come to stupid people. Bill Engvall has the whole comedy routine about stupid people and how they should be given signs warning us that they’re stupid.

I couldn’t agree with him more. I don’t have time for stupidity. Even from myself. Now the problem is that I work in IT, and for some people when it comes to PCs, they suddenly lose all their brain cells. I can understand if you don’t always know what is going on with a new piece of software or it’s something that you haven’t done before. But. And it is a big BUT. If you do the same thing wrong every day, or if I’ve sent you a guide with pretty pictures explaining everything, and you still want to phone me and say you can’t get it right, you can really just go screw yourself. What gets me even more frustrated is people who think they know what they’re doing, but don’t. If I send you a “how-to” guide and you don’t read it and screw up something, you can figure it out yourself. If you don’t change your password when it’s due to expire because you don’t have time, and then it expires, I will make you wait longer just to prove a point. I thought I was alone in this regard, but after speaking to a colleague in another branch and found out he is even more hectic about some things.

It’s not only at work that I pick it up. Even on the road, stupid people translate into bad drivers. They give you bad service, they annoy you with stupid questions. The list is endless, but the principle is the same.

I guess that simply put, stupid people and bad drivers are a blight on this planet and if they didn’t exist, the world would be a much better place. Harsh? Yes, but I stand by this…

Stupid People


The Katalina Blog Challenge #6: My Writing Self

* For more details on the Katalina Blog Challenge, click here and more on this specific challenge, click here

Why is writing an important part of my life? Why do I do it? Simply, it is an important part of who I am. In the Katalina Blog Challenge #4, I shared how I got into writing, so I’ll skip over all that.

I like to think that I lead quite a busy life. But despite all the distractions and possible excuses I could make not to write, I could not imagine not writing. Whether it be sneaking in a few minutes here and there at work while I’m waiting for something to finish running, or when I sit in my car at lunchtime or even sitting in bed at night. I *WILL* always find a few minutes everyday to write.

It keeps me almost sane. If I could not write, I don’t think I could make it through every day. Whether it be writing about zombies killing people when I’m in a bad mood or writing poetry to clear my head, if I didn’t write I think I would have probably turned out to be a sociopath or a proper crazy person. Like crazy crazy. I like to think of myself as a little crazy, but not madhouse crazy. I think that little bit of craziness helps with my writing.

Of all the things I do write, I only ever share about a tenth of it at most. I have severe doubt in my abilities. No-one has actually ever told me I was crap, but that is not the issue. Some of the stuff I write is just way to personal to share. Some of it is just me writing random thoughts. Mostly though, I just feel that some of it isn’t good enough. I’m working on it, but at least some stuff I am willing to share, so be happy with that :)

I write because I hope that one day, sometime in the future, this series of novels I have floating around in my head will become a reality. I started writing one part of it during NaNoWriMo last year and I realised that I wasn’t really ready for it just yet. I also don’t think I should do it during NaNoWriMo though, it just wouldn’t be doing it justice to rush through it. I will do it one day, but when is a completely different issue.

Basically, I just love writing…


Revenge of the Zombie Girlfriend: The River

Part 7:

Note: For the previous part of this story, click here, or to start from the beginning, click hereFor the full story, click here, or click here for the next part

Our hero jumped into the cool water. In was a painfully hot day and he couldn’t handle the heat anymore. Karen and Alex didn’t feel like swimming, but they lay on the river bank taking advantage of the break they had been given. Ever since they had reunited a while back, they had been on the run from not only zombies, but also a gang of psychotic maniacs intent on killing them.

During the last four days, they had also begun to have serious issues with zombie wildlife. Just that morning they had struggled to fight off a pack of zombie-wolves. Alex had almost been bitten, but fortunately the infection made the wolves a little less agile & vicious, and he had managed to evade the wolf. Their strength and determination for flesh however were not affected in the least and it had been quite a fight.

For now they were just relaxing while they still could. The section of river they were at now was quite far off the beaten track and besides a few normal animals running around, which was a pretty good sign on it’s own, they were pretty much alone. Karen watched her brother going crazy in the water, and wondered what the hell he was doing until he came up holding a rather large fish. He then swam back to them and threw it down on the grass next to them.

“So how about some fish for lunch?” he said, looking rather proud of himself. “Do either of you know what fish this is though?”

Karen and Alex looked at each other and shrugged. Karen spoke for the both of them, “Not a clue little brother, but it looks fine. I’ll start a small fire for us.”

With that she walked off to the place she had seen some dry wood and started bring a few pieces to make a small fire to cook the fish. Alex had in the meantime started to clean the fish with relative ease. He had clearly done this before and was just being his usual quiet self and not bragging when asked if he knew what type of fish it was. Within ten minutes the fire was going and the fish was cleaned and cut. Once the fire had subsided a bit they fried the fish in a pan they had started to carry around with them. They had even had some herbs and salt that they could put on.

A little while later as they were getting ready and packing everything back in to move on, they heard a noise coming from the forest. They then saw there was a woman being chased by something. She soon emerged, followed rather closely by a zombie dog. Alex whipped out his shotgun, took aim and shouted out, “Get down!”

As the woman dived to the ground, Alex took his shot and the dog went flying backwards. Alex then heard Karen scream out, “To your right!”

Our hero, however, had already noticed the three zombies emerging from the woods and he shot them in quick succession with his crossbow. He was quite proud of his PSE TAC15i crossbow. He had found it a few weeks back and after a bit of oiling and cleaning, it had worked like a dream. He could shoot through steel at close range and even from a distance, it would penetrate skulls. One kill had been from over a hundred metres with the scope.

The lady that had come out of the forest seemed to be okay, but they had no time to check properly for cuts, scratches or bites. Alex’s shotgun had probably drawn way too much attention to them, so they took the last few things that hadn’t been packed and threw them into the Willy’s Jeep they had recently acquired. Soon they were driving along the dirt track through the forest. As they drove, they saw zombies appearing like flies out of the forest. If they had stayed just a few minutes longer, getting out of there may have been slightly difficult. As it was they had knocked over about ten zombies that had wandered into their path.

Soon they arrived back at the main road. They now had time to speak to the new member of their posse.

“Hi there. My name is Charlie, this is my sister Karen and the quiet one in the back is Alex. What can we call you and what the hell happened?”

“My name is Lisa and I am truly indebted to you and your friends. I am part of a group of survivors who have made an old army base home and have fortified ourselves to the best of our ability. Every once in a while though, we need to go look for supplies and I was with some of the others collecting fruits and vegetables we had started growing out here. We didn’t even hear them coming, but soon we were attacked by a group of human and animal zombies larger than we could handle. This area had always been rather zombie-free. That’s why we planted here. I was the only one who made it out and then I ran into you.”

“Did you say there are a group of survivors in an old army base nearby, but more importantly, are you sure none of your friends are still out there” Karen asked.

“They were all dead within minutes, but there is nothing we can do now. And yeah, we’ve been at the base almost from the beginning. Well some of us anyway. Over time we’ve grown a bit, but not so much that we couldn’t handle it. Could I please ask you to take me back. I know I can’t expect it, but we could possibly assist you in some way. You need to speak to our leader though, Bob. I need to tell him what has happened as well.”

“Sounds like a plan, we’ll take you back and maybe you can let us rest there for the night. It is getting quite late and I doubt that we’ll be able to find a place to prepare for the night in time.”

“I am sure that can be arranged. Maybe I can sit up front and direct you Charlie?”

“Sure. Would you mind big sis? he asked his sister.

With that she climbed into the back and they made their way to the base as the sun started to set in front of them.


What a Weekend!

Bushmans River Mouth

Image Courtesy of virtualtourist.com

This past long weekend, I was invited along with my girlfriend to Boesmansriviermond (Bushmans River Mouth) to stay at one of her friend’s house. Of course any weekend away is great, but I wasn’t expecting it to be as awesome as it was.

Bushmans is about an hour and a half from Port Elizabeth along the R72, depending on traffic or what roadworks they’re busy with. I think my girlfriend started to worry about me at some parts when I got stuck behind trucks and other people that really shouldn’t be on the road because of the way they drive. Nonetheless we arrived at suppertime, in one piece (and without causing vehicular manslaughter), after only having left after work on Friday.

You’re kinda forced to relax from when you arrive. There are very few shops and over weekends they all close at 2pm (of course you could drive to Kenton-On-Sea or Port Alfred but you’re so chilled out, that even that seems like an effort. There is a local pub called the Bushmans Pub & Grub (previously Buccaneers?). The Gateway Tourism Centre at the entrance also has some amenities such as a internet cafe and restaurant. Up until the 80′s there wasn’t even electricity or water in most houses, but even so, you should take your own drinking water.

We spent our Saturday swimming at the river and having a braai while the rugby was on. We played some pool for Ship Sherry (drink a shot if you lose, and I lost quite a bit…). We did very little else. Sunday was spent cruising up the river on a speedboat – the whole day actually. Just cruising up and then back down, stopping to cool down for a dip in the river once in a while. We went up quite far but not as far as we could have. Supposedly you can go up about 30km or so. Surprisingly, even though we went up quite far (about 20km?), the water is still salty (and kind of chilly!).

It was really an awesome weekend and a big thanks to Enzo, Aluschka and the rest  for a really epic weekend. Also thanks to Marcell (sic) & Co for the brilliant boat trip!

For more info on Boesmansriviermond, go look at their website. If you’re looking for a nice relaxing holiday, look no further!


The Katalina Blog Challenge #5: Sophisticate Me

Schopfer Infinitas

Schopfer Infinitas Yacht

* For more details on the Katalina Blog Challenge, click here and more on this specific challenge, click here

 

This challenge had me stumped. What 25 things would indicate sophistication and success in my life? I’m a really simple guy, I just want enough to get by comfortably and have all the gadgets I want, but I don’t just want to put down a list of gadgets I want. Don’t get me wrong, I would be completely happy without having most of the stuff on this list, but in a perfect world, this would be me. So in no particular order:

1) First up, a fully stocked wine cellar

2) A walk-in humidor with a large selection of quality cigars

3) Speak a whole bunch of foreign languages

4) A wide selection of tailored suits

5) An Audi (RS5 ,R8 or Q7)

6) Or even better – A rare sports car (Bugatti, Koenigsegg, Pagani)

7) A Schopfer yacht

(Ok now I’m getting ridiculous, so back to reality)

8 ) Serious cooking skills; I know how to cook, but I want to know how to COOK

9) Travel… just travel without a care. No worries about budgets and work and all that other stuff life throws in our way

10) Being able to give less of a damn about other people’s issues with me

11) A kick ass entertainment system

12) Financial freedom

13) My zombie series of novels finished and on the bestseller lists

14) Have a PA

15) Lots of gadgets!!

(Alright, I admit that by now I’m starting to grasp at straws… I told you that I’m a simple guy)

16) Every bit of Zombie paraphernalia that exists

17) In case you didn’t get how serious I am: Every bit of Zombie paraphernalia that exists

18) A beach house

19) A cabin in the mountains (in the middle of nowhere)

20) Being able to tell people what I REALLY think of them.

21) Did I mention gadgets?

22) My own little happy family

23) Not having to make lists

24) Just in case you still don’t believe me: Every bit of Zombie paraphernalia that exists

25) A really successful blog


Are you Ready for the End?

Nuclear ExplosionA friend posted her “How to Survive the Coming Apocalypse” guide on her blog yesterday and it got me thinking of all the possible ways that the world could end and if I was really ready for that.

Of course being Zombie Boy, I have a Zombie Preparedness Plan, but how would I adapt that plan to be suitable for any situation. Let’s be honest here anything could happen, China might attack Taiwan, which would force the US to come in guns blazing. Similarly, North Korea could attack South Korea or even launch their alleged nukes. There is just so much that could go wrong these days. Just look at the recent  events in Japan to see how quickly things can change…

Most apocalyptic scenarios can be divided into two broad groups being:

1) Acts of God: This can be any type of natural disaster that was caused by circumstances out of our control. Floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, asteroids hitting earth, meteor showers and lots of similar events fall into this group. These normally occur with little or no warning. Small scale occurrences such as the earthquake & tsunami in Japan or the flooding in Australia do not count as apocalyptic acts of God. Think of the movie 2012 or the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs.

2) Man-made: Any type of event resulting from our own stupidity, greed or mistakes. Think world wars and viral outbreaks. The Zombie Apocalypse will most likely fall into this group. Generally speaking there should be warning signs allowing you more time to prepare than the previous group.

My Zombie Preparedness Plan has always been very minimalist in nature, because in the event that something does happen, you probably only have a short time to get the initial part of your plan implemented. Don’t expect me to share any details of my plan, but this guide should help with your own plan.

If I look at my plan, it has five basic stages, but to make it suitable for any scenario, I need to trim it down to four stages being: Escape, Survive, Resupply, Fortify.

Escape:

When the apocalypse comes, the most important thing that you need to do is escape. Get out of large metropolitan centres and head towards mountainous, sparsely populated areas. Make sure you have enough water and food, but water is definitely the priority. Have a couple of those 5 litre bottles on hand and ideally something like the SteriPEN as well.

A decent selection of tools and multipurpose weapons, such as an axe or self-powered power-tools, which can also be used for other purposes, are also a must.

This is not the time for you to worry about other people. Be selfish. See a beautiful lady being attacked, leave her. Families are a definite no, unless it’s your own. The only exception would be if you see someone better prepared and with more supplies than you. Most likely he will tell you to bugger off though, because you will just drag him down.

You also need to have a small, agile vehicle capable of off-road travel. Think of things like motorbikes, small SUVs and small cars with decent clearance like the VW Cross Polo or Renault Sandero. They should be able to handle themselves on any reasonably rough terrain.

If you’re not going to tackle this alone, make sure your posse is also kept up to date with the basics of your plan. Not your whole plan though, otherwise what use are you?

Survive:

After you have escaped, you will either need to find shelter, or if properly planned you should already have a idea where you will escape to. It doesn’t matter if it is your place or not, but make sure that if it’s not yours, that when you get there you won’t have to fight off a shotgun wielding owner. Look for places inhabited by elderly people or others who would not fight back once you claim it. Depending on the situation and your plan, you can take them under your wing, or throw them out to fend for themselves.

Once you have a shelter, you need to start preparing for long term survival. Plant your own food, go hunting, do everything to last as long as possible. This needs to be at least a few weeks, allowing the panic and chaos to subside a bit. In the case of a World War, this could be even longer, especially if it was nuclear warfare.

Remember no-one, besides you posse, is worth the effort. If it came down to them or you, you will draw the short straw, so screw them.

Resupply:

After a few weeks, shit should be a bit more settled, depending on the type of apocalypse. Don’t expect it to be all nice and cozy though. It’s gonna be chaos out there. At this stage you need to head out though and get more supplies and whatever you forgot. Make sure you are well armed and will be able to handle any attack.

You also need to decide during this stage if your current shelter is good enough for the long term. If not, this stage also involves looking for a proper shelter that you can use for the long term. Stock up on renewable sources of food such as vegetables, livestock, etc.

In preparation of the final stage, also look for anything that will make your shelter a bit more secure – metal sheets, pipes, wood boards, rope and wire, welding equipment and any tools you don’t have. While you are at it, look for books and magazines that will allow you to learn new skills. Don’t know how to weld? Don’t know how to tie knots? Learn.

Fortify:

Now it is time to prepare for the serious long-haul. Secure you shelter as much as possible. Lay traps, reinforce the doors and windows, do anything to make your shelter impregnable. You should be able to survive for a least a few days without leaving your shelter if attacked.

If you leave your shelter for any reason, make sure that no-one can get in there, because even if you decide to leave permanently now, things might change in the future, so always have it as an option. After all you probably put a lot of work into it.

*

Of course, this guide is nowhere near to a complete plan. You should have checklists and everything packed ready to go. If you’re not going to do it alone, you need to make sure your posse is also ready.

Just having a plan is not enough either, you need to be willing to adapt. You will most likely need to kill at least one person. You will be way out of your comfort zone. Shit will be different.

Be mentally prepared.


Revenge of the Zombie Girlfriend: The Survivors

Part 6:

Note: For the previous part of this story, click here, or to start from the beginning, click hereFor the full story, click here, or click here for the next part

He never wanted to be a leader. It was initially a role he was forced into during those first few weeks. Now everyone looked up to him and he just went with it.

Their little community had managed to survive since the zombie apocalypse had started, although at times it had been pretty dismal. He had been born as Chris, but no-one really cared what your birth name was anymore, whatever you wanted to be called was what stuck. Once in a while, you may have crossed paths with an old friend or acquaintance, but never long enough that it caused confusion. He now called himself Bob.

They had moved into an old army base on the outskirts of a small town and had laid traps and all sorts of deterrents to keep away anyone the didn’t want there, including the zombies.

“Can you please just get out there now and replace the mines that blew up last night Fang?”

“But boss, I did it yesterday and…”

“I don’t give a shit Fang,” Bob screamed, interrupting Fang, “if you really want to piss me off, don’t do it, but just know that by the end of the day, you will be out there on your own. I have half the people working on the south wall repairs from yesterday’s attack and a lot of others have gone out looking for supplies. You are the only one left that knows what to do, so must I ask again?”

“No boss.”

With that, Fang left for the armoury and Bob was left standing by himself. He looked around the base and was satisfied with what had been created by his people. And by him of course. The fences had been replaced by walls, although covering a much smaller area and at regular intervals, turrets projected from the wall which made defending the base a lot easier. The top of the wall had a homemade electric barbed wire fence. In the middle of the base was their armoury and it also doubled as a final retreat point.

The base could hold up to 300 people at capacity, but as it stood right then, there were only 132 people living there. 43 men, 56 women and 35 children. These people came from as far as 200 kilometres away, some used to live one or two kilometres away from the base. He live a few towns away and had been one of the first to find this place.

Everyone had their specific tasks to perform and they had pretty much everything covered, including two doctors and a mechanic, as well as at least twenty people with military training. Things had come together pretty well for this band of unlikely survivors.

In the distance, he could see Candy was approaching him with purpose. The two of them had formed a relationship of sorts in the past months. She seemed quite pissed off right now though. “What the fuck Bob?” she screamed at him when she was in shouting distance.

“What’s up Candy? You seem a bit…. angry.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about you piece of shit. I could just…” she paused and moved in to slap him.

Bob managed to duck away and grabbed her arm, gently restraining her. “Calm down baby!”

“Let me go Bob, I’m fucking pissed at you. Why the hell did you send my brother with that fucker, Howie? You know they’re gonna kill each other one day.”

Before he could answer, he noticed a vehicle approaching on the horizon. It seemed Howie and D-Boy, Candy’s brother, were returning with the others he had sent out for supplies. Pointing towards them, he told Candy, “Well let’s go see if they did.”

It wasn’t easy leading, but he knew he could do it, there was no-one else he trusted to lead them.


The Katalina Blog Challenge #4: Why I Write

* For more details on the Katalina Blog Challenge, click here and more on this specific challenge, click here

Growing up, I loved the stories my mom would read to me and eventually when I could read myself, I would lose myself in the worlds that were created by the likes of Roald Dahl. Don’t ask me how old I was or any such silly thing, but it was from really young. I remember her fondly telling friends and family the story of how I liked books and stories from young and was a regular at the library. Then she’d say that when she took me to a bookstore for the first time to get a book, I couldn’t grasp the concept of buying only one book. I can’t remember what book I got, but it would be the first of many, many books that I would own. I have to thank my mom for getting me hooked on the written word.

I never showed much interest in writing anything until my early high school years at Queens College. There I met Mr… *checks high school year book*… Mr Cleary, my high school English teacher (Standard 8 I think), who somehow ignited a spark of creativity in me and I began to explore writing. My one school project involved writing a short story and I wrote one about a post-nuclear world. It was my first work (about 50 pages, but it may just be my memory exaggerating a bit though.) I remember lending it out for people to read, since I got a 80+% (possibility of memory exaggeration again) which I was pretty proud of and I just never got it back, which is a bit upsetting.

I was also in detention (headmaster’s detention *sigh*) a LOT that year, oh how many grey hairs did I give Mr. Harker (sorry Sir! :) ), I admit that I was a completely naughty shit! During these long afternoons spent in an empty classroom, my mind wandered a hell of a lot. Since my homework only took an hour or two at most, the rest of the detention (yes it was the whole afternoon) and night homework sessions (can’t recall what they’re called now :/) left me with a lot of free time, and I had to make it look like I was doing something. I wrote a lot of stories and poetry, but besides my short story, never shared any of it. I lost those stories, poetry, etc years ago and kinda regret it now, because some of best writing (memory exaggeration alert!) was during this year.

The next year we moved to Port Elizabeth and I somehow felt the need to try be one of the cool and/or popular kids. Well that didn’t work out at all since I kinda realised the cool/popular kids were pretty screwed up people and soon I just settled into my old self again, I became my geeky self again and met some of my awesome friends (Alex, Stephen, Gareth, Craig, etc, you know who you all are :P)

I didn’t get back into my writing though. My creativity had buried itself pretty deep. It wasn’t until I started working, that my creativity started to show itself again. Slowly, very slowly. During my time as an armed response officer, I had plenty of time during night shifts where I would sit at my stand-off point, just waiting for the next alarm activation, burglary or worse to happen. It was during these long quiet nights that I would start reading regularly again; I was reading about 10 books a week at this stage.

When my dad passed away 5 years ago, I had feelings and emotions that I was holding in. I showed the world a brave, calm face, but inside my head was a disaster area. I started writing a bit again to get it all out. Nothing major, just the equivalent of doodling. It got me through though. Then I got promoted to Area Manager and I never had the time to write and my creativity dug itself a shallow grave this time round.

When I transferred to IT a few years later, I met my “boss”, Tyrone, and when he met his current fiancé, Nadine, little did I know that my creativity would start digging it’s way out eventually. Nadine started something called The Poetry Project and asked for poetry to be submitted, which is matched up with a photograph; a marriage of sorts between written and visual media – check it out here). I started writing some poetry and even submitted those I was willing to.

Through that I found out about a writers club, The Tequila Thursday Writers Club, which she was starting, and that leads us to the present.

So to answer simply, I write because it is who I am. It got me through my dad’s death, it kept me (in)sane in detention during school and is one of the ways I show the world who I am. I don’t know if I’m a good writer or if I’ll ever get published, but I do it because I enjoy it, the rest of the world be damned. My paranoia and self-esteem issues keep me from ever accepting compliments on things that I’ve written, although it does keep me writing, which is good enough I suppose.


Revenge of the Zombie Girlfriend: The Reunion

Part 5:

Note: For the previous part of this story, click here, or to start from the beginning, click hereFor the full story, click here, or click here for the next part

Speechless. Now that was an understatement. Months of being alone had it’s toll on him and it was almost as if he had forgotten how to speak. All that came out was gibberish. Eventually one word escaped his mouth: “How?”

“I know you never used to speak much little brother, but this is an all new low for you. Not even a hello or a how are you. I have to say that I’m quite surprised to see you and I know the feeling is mutual. It must be in the genes. We’re survivors, that’s for sure.”

“I can’t believe its you Karen, I even wen’t to your house a few weeks after Z-Day-”

“After what?”

“Z-Day, that’s what I call the first day of the outbreak and uprising.”

“Kind’ve catchy, I have to say. You always were pretty creative. Pity it doesn’t mean much right here and now in this new world,” she said while moving towards the open doorway into the cabin.

“On the contrary sis, it’s probably my creative streak that got me out of quite a few close-calls. That and the fact that I’m practically a walking encyclopedia of the undead.” he said turning his attention to the scrawny teenager holding the shotgun. They had now moved into the cabin and sat down in the lounge where they had spent many a holiday as kids.

He carried on, “What happened to your family and who is this?

“Oh that’s Alex. He was my neighbour’s son. His parents were killed during the first week. We had escaped the initial attacks but one night while we were hiding in the city, we got surrounded and barely managed to escape. Somehow during the escape they got scratched though and within the day, had started turning. We had to kill them. Of the original group that had escaped, only the two of us were left after a month. Eight people gone, just like that including my family. I know it’s not much considering the possible billions dead since, but I didn’t know them. It still hurts like hell having lost them, but I’d rather not talk about it.” Tears were appearing.

Alex stood still the entire time, not saying a word. He had a sadness in his eyes. It was clear that he was still grieving in his own way.

“I’m really sorry sis, it must be tough. If you ever feel like talking about it, I’m here, but lets not talk about it now,” he said and gave his sister a big hug.

After they had finished, she carried on, “The saddest part of all is that ever since that day his parents were killed, he has not said a word. He was such a happy boy before… what did you call it? Z-Day. The only way he expresses himself anymore is by taking it out on the zombies. And he does that extremely well. I am not sure where he learnt to kill the way he does, but I have a feeling it’s a rage that has built up inside of him. I wish he would speak sometimes, but we all have our own way of dealing.”

“Must be kinda difficult I suppose. But you are definitely right, I think it must be his way of handling things. I have to ask though, how long have you been here? The place looks a lot neater than I thought it would be. It’s been years since I’ve been back here.”

“It’s been just short of a month. This place is out of the way if nothing else. We’ve had a few people find their way here but they never stayed long. We gave them food, they rested and then moved on. It was worthwhile though because being stuck out here, you tend to lose touch with what is going on.”

“My dearest sister, you don’t need to be in the middle of nowhere to lose touch. I barely know what is happening myself; only what I’ve seen with my own eyes. I’ve kept to myself ever since I was almost killed by a fellow survivor in the first couple of weeks. The collapse of civilisation has changed people.”

“Well then I don’t suppose you’ve heard about the supposed zombie army then?”

“The what?”

“Zombie army. The last people that came through here had barely escaped an attack on their group. They told us about an army of zombies heading this way. At first I didn’t believe them, but then they told us how they deliberately left some people alive… if that’s what you can call it ad seem to have a greater purpose. Besides eating human flesh of course”

“That’s not possible, zombies can’t think. They basically operate on instinct alone.”

“That’s what I said, but it wasn’t the only rumour I heard about them. If it is true, we can’t stay here either, because they’re heading straight for us. And I certainly don’t want to be here when they come. I don’t think army is exactly the right word, but I believe there are about fifty or more in total. You’re lucky you came along when you did, by this time tomorrow we were going to be out on the road again. Care to join us?”

Our hero sat and thought about it for a while. He had to admit that it would be nice to have some company for a change, but he really didn’t feel like having to watch other people’s backs. It was difficult enough taking care of himself. His thoughts were interrupted by Alex.

“Please help us.”

If our hero was dumbfounded by the boys words, then his sister, Karen, was even more so. Alex had spoken his first words in months. How could he say no to something like that. Tomorrow they would leave, together. Our hero would no longer be alone.


Katalina Blog Challenge #3: Pretend You Are Me

* For more details on the Katalina Blog Challenge, click here and more on this specific challenge, click here

Hey buddy

You sure you wanna do this? Don’t say I didn’t warn you that it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

1) First off, you should know that you am completely obsessed with zombies; You do have a zombie bite tattoo on your shoulder after all. I mean who does that? Oh right, you have… never mind. People may refer to you as Zombie Boy occasionally.

2) Next up is your CDO. No I don’t mean OCD, I really do mean CDO. See below. From making sure that your cellphone is in your right hand side pocket, to making sure the DVD collection is either colour coded, alphabetically sorted or organised in a specific way that takes your fancy on the day, it’s just one of those things that make me who I am…

3) As if that isn’t bad enough, you have extremely bad short term memory and are very easily distracted. This isn’t very helpful in day-to-day activities. This is also probably why you sometimes end up eating at 9pm in the evening or never getting to that cup of coffee you were going to make an hour ago. Or why people get annoyed at you for forgetting to do stuff for them.

4) You love cooking, but sometimes get a bit too experimental for your own good… especially with your chillies and peppers. Avoid baking at all costs, you really do suck at that, because you refuse to follow recipes and measurements. This is also the one possible exception to your CDO. Granted, being a guy that is able to cook is awesome, since I read somewhere that the average guy only learns how to make four meals in their lifetime, and you have created (from scratch) that many already.

5) You are a romantic at heart although it is not always obvious. Embrace it, your girlfriend hopefully loves the little gestures and it can’t cause any harm, unless it gets a bit overboard that is… then you’re just being a stalker! Some flowers from your garden once in a while, a massage here and there, have a nice home-cooked meal by candlelight, that’s what it’s all about.

6) You are quite shy at first, but I think people wish you would shut the hell up when they get to know you. When getting involved in conversations with people, you need to constantly remind yourself not to interrupt them while they’re talking. I know you want to get your point across, but that won’t happen if you piss them off!

7) Your musical tastes don’t make any sense, just go with it. If you enjoy a song, you will feel compelled to go download the entire album or even buy the CD. This keeps you sane and your CDO in check, so again I say,  just go with it.

8 ) Although not as bad as it used be, you are kinda bad with money. Stop buying crap you don’t use or need. I know it’s tempting to go buy that new game/CD/DVD/gadget/etm but you will probably end up regretting having bought it after the fact. Put it off and if in a few months time, you still feel compelled to buy it, then still don’t buy it until you can afford to buy it with cash money. Credit is the devil!

9) You also need to make sure you keep up with the whole healthier lifestyle thing. You’ve done quite well to lose the 15kg you did since last year. I know it’s tempting to just go back to eating crap, but trust me you don’t want to, people have started to notice you are looking healthier.

10) You are a bit lazy, but at times you just need to force yourself to do the chores and tasks you tend to ignore. They are not going to go away, no matter how much you wish they would.

11) Paranoia… it is not your friend. Stop second guessing every decision, not everything will end badly. You need to just put yourself out there. Sometimes it may not work out the way you wanted, but at least you won’t be left wondering what could have happened.

12) You tend to get bored quickly and frustrated when things aren’t going as planned. Maybe this has something to do with the CDO and short attention span, but regardless, just remind yourself that you need to stick with it. You started doing it for a reason (probably), just keep reminding yourself of that reason.

13) You also cannot stand still or sit still or do anything without moving some part of your body. When speaking on a cellphone, you will most likely also wonder around like a crazy person, pacing up and down. Even if you tell yourself to stop, it probably won’t work. Your body moves and does it’s own thing regardless of what your brain tells it to do.

There are probably also a whole bunch of other quirks that you don’t even know about, but you should figure them out pretty soon. Possibly your obsession with the number 13 could be included, but let’s not even go there.

I would wish you luck, but that probably won’t be enough, so just deal with it.

Regards

DonCharlieV


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