Since when has everyone in the world become a bunch of moaning, bitching, easily offended, idiotic, spoon fed, (insert adjective of choice here) pansies?
Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention when the memo went out, but I first noticed it when when Cee Lo Green‘s awesome song, ‘Fuck You’, became ‘Forget You’ on radio. Seriously? Forget is a legitimate substitute for Fuck? Most of you probably are wondering what the hell I’m talking about. And this is my problem: Most people know the song as ‘Forget You’, but the song is called ‘FUCK You’, not ‘Forget You’. I played the proper version for a friend, kingtyrone and even he agreed the song was suddenly completely different. The only way to understand is to watch the video below and compare it with the bullshit radio-friendly version.
Then I started paying attention. You know those annoying customer care centers? You ever notice that the amount of disclaimers and legal crap that they have to read to you and that you have to agree to before they actually help you has increased. What used to take 5 minutes to do over the phone, now takes twice as long. You can’t even buy a data bundle from MTN for your 3G modem now without having to listen to 10 minutes of explanations and indemnity clauses, before you can get your bundle. A little while back it was as simple as loading a voucher and then clicking on the bundle you wanted in the MTN F@stlink software.
Even those stupid sales calls for insurance and cellphone contracts we don’t need have got them now. Soon you’ll have to sign a 20 page contract to load airtime on your phone.
We’re making it worse and honestly, I’d hate to see what this generation of children are going to be like. I was listening to a friend talking about his kids and the school they’re at. When I was a kid and I didn’t do my homework, the teacher would call me up to the front of class and I’d get my ass beaten. The other kids would go “Ooh!” and “Aah!” each time the (bat/stick/plank/any blunt wooden instrument and even a broken golf club) hit you ass. Next time you would make sure you did your homework. What happens now? The school informs the parent ,who must then deal with it. Huh? What the hell is that? Isn’t that what I pay you to do? Even as parents you are not allowed to punish your child like that anymore.
What we need is one big global bitch-slap. Everyone in the world needs to stop whatever the fuck they are doing and just bitch-slap whoever is next to them at the same time. Young, old, big, small, male, female, it doesn’t matter who you are. You just give the person next to you the hardest, baddest, guilt-free bitch-slap ever. No regrets, no retaliation, we just carry on as normal. A guy can dream…